A kg more than you do

“Hmmm…. I am back. What were we talking about?” he asked. The reliance unlimited16 talk plan that they’ve got would disconnect every hour and thus help them keep a track of time, in addition to the disturbance in conversation.

“This was the 2^nd time Raka ji…. It’s time for us to sleep.”

“Oh, don’t go just yet…. Wait for few more minutes”

“Okay…. You were about to ask me a question. Go on”. He smiled at her condescension and continued, “Oh yes… the question. Pay attention ‘cause it’s a tricky one. What’s heavier… A kg of cotton Or A kg of Iron?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“A tricky one”, he replied glibly.

“Well its simple…”, he cut her short, “Think harder Sirka ji… I don’t want you to lose.”

“Huh”…and he was grinning hard all the while she took to complete rest of the sentence… “Ofcourse a kg of iron is heavier”.

“Haha… got you!”

“That’s not fair, you tricked me into it”

“I told you it was a tricky question”, there was no trick in that. It was her un-questioning faith in him that played with her and he knew that.

“I must go to sleep now… its way past 1 am now”

“Okay”, he sighed and continued after a few seconds, “Sometimes I wish I could delete 1am from the watch altogether. Then you won’t ever have to leave”

“How much do you love me Raka Ji?” she asked promptly, as if driven by a sudden remembrance of a previously thought desire. He has long anticipated this question but never actually gave it a thought serious enough to look for an answer. He was sure that it will be asked. It had to be asked. It has been asked.

“What makes you ask that?”

“Just answer the question”

“It’s a silly question to ask. Why would you ever want to put a limit on something as sacred as love?”

“Will you please answer it…. For me. Please. I just have to know”

“Well if you insist, the answer would be… ‘A kg more than you do dearest’”

“Ahh…. I love you more. That’s not correct”

“Nah, I love you a kg more than you do”

“That’s not fair… how can you say I love you less”

“I never said that”

“You said you love me more than I love you”

“Okay, look at it like this. Suppose your love is infinite for me, and I love you a kg more. It would still be infinite. So your love is at the most equal to mine, but never less”

“Where do you get such answers from?” she asked… amazed.

“And the kg that I am talking about here is a kg of cotton. So that if you try to hold it, your hands would be wide open. Just like you would have hoped me to tell you how much I love you.”

His answer was way more satisfying for her. She has hoped for a conventional reply. “I will never be able to win an argument against you”, she said in a sad tone which has a hint that she was happy to lose against him.

“That’s rubbish. You can definitely win. You will win arguments against me”

“When”, she asked eagerly.

“One day…”he continued… “When the sun is brighter than usual and rain is falling…”

“When does that happen? You mean to say I will never win”

“Let me complete Sirka Ji. When the sun is brighter than usual and rain is falling from the sky…. When a radiant Rainbow will divide the sky in two halves and I will be busy looking for the treasure at one end of that rainbow… that is when you will win over me. On that day, you will win and I will lose. And I will be the happiest person to lose against you.”

Those words were engrossed in her heart at that very moment. “What treasure?” she continued as if nothing has been stirred up inside her.

“The treasure at the starting and end points of rainbow…. Did no one tell you about it?” he asked humorously.

“Oh yeah. I read it somewhere. So you would be busy searching for that treasure instead of paying attention to the argument and that’s how I will win?”

“Pretty much”

“I don’t want you to lose. I like losing arguments to you”

“You din’t get it Santri, I will still win in the end, coz your win is my victory as well”

“uff… meet me at Hotel moon. I might have a chance there”

“Sure dearest”

Kuch aur baat kartein hain

Gentle february wind blew through his hair as he stood in front lobby of the house leaning against the fence, scratching a spot of wax on its surface, oblivion of his posture and of the fact that all the doors were left open. It was only when the befalling darkness of that winter evening accentuated the reflection of room’s light in his watch that he realized that he was standing there for last 1 hour without moving, thinking about nothing. The watch on his wrist read 6:26 which amazed him, as if he had noticed a pattern or discovered that this coincidence was rather schemed. He went back inside the room, in front of the wash-basin and looked at his reflection in the mirror. It was his sad self, dried eyes and pouting lips. The cheeks had a sign of dried tear lines, he immediately wiped them off. “What’s so difficult in it, Ofcourse I can smile”, he thought to himself, trying to prove Vandana wrong who told her this evening that he has lost his natural intriguing smile. He tried to smile in the mirror, as if following an algorithm, to widen the lips and curve them upwards. It took him a significant physical effort to do so. After a few futile efforts, he burst into self pitying tears again and removed himself away from mirror.

Ashish calling…

“Hey dude, how are you”, he replied the phone in a fake tone.

“I am good. Will a day ever come when you will call me by yourself?” Ashish said sarcastically.

“Ofcourse, but you always call me a day before that day”

“Huh…how are you feeling now? Are you Ok?”

“Yeah, I am fine. I will survive”, he said, simultaneously logging into his facebook account.

“I knew you would be devastated. You were too much in love with her.”

“Yeah, I am…”, on his facebook page were the photographs of her engagement uploaded recently. The photographs almost seized him off his conscious and held him at his place, nonplussed and immovable. The world went silent to him, so egregious was the nature of the evinced fact that his heart forgot to beat while he tried to articulate his own feelings and then to understand what actually hurt him more, the photographs or the comments. The missed heartbeat gave him a deep pain in his chest when he realized that the phone has slipped off his hands through which Ashish was calling out to him, he stared at the mobile, gathered himself up and picked the phone only after ensuring himself of his ability to voice out a sentence properly.

“Hi, I am back. The phone slipped off my hands”

“I have been calling you for last 1 minute, what took you so long to pick the phone”

“Leave it… in some way, you know, I think that she will be happier with that guy”, he said…trying to believe in what he just said with all his might. He wanted it to be true, however much bitter it felt.

“Yeah, you should be worrying a little more about yourself right now. She will be happy with him”

It seared his heart to hear that from Ashish, as unlike him, Ashish’s opinion lacked any condescension and thus, in a way, was more approving of the fact. He continued… “Yes, he has a respectable job as well, earns well and can give her a better life ahead against me, who has just started his career. He is obviously a better choice for her. And you know what, he calls her baby and says that he has fallen in love with her since their very first meeting… Me and my love don’t stand a chance against him… against…chhod na yaar, kuch aur baat kartein hain….”

“What the hell, who tells you all this….she?”

“And there’s more to it… In the beginning of our relationship, I had told her that there would be a prince for her who would take her away on a black horse, I remember it was black as she had pestered me to change it to a white one but I had held my grounds. Yesterday she told me that that guy had a black horse too. I always thought that I was the prince in that wish who was proud of being in love with her.”

“But…”

“It’s fate isn’t it. All my care, all the love in my heart for her doesn’t matter. What has that guy done to earn that place in her life…”

“Listen…”, Ashish tried desperately to stop him.

“and why can’t I, who… chhod na yaar, kuch aur baat kartein hain”

“Pheww… Ofcourse. How about your applications?”

“He will keep her happy, won’t he?... ofcourse he will. I wish he give her all the happiness I had planned for her. Do you think he will love her more than I do?... Ofcourse he will, he is the chosen one for her. Maybe I didn’t love her enough”, he said and her sweet voice echoed in his mind…”how much do you love me Raka Ji?” and he had replied humourously “A Kg more than you do dearest” and she had smiled back, shying her glance away. To that smiling face he said… “Maybe, a Kg more than you do was not enough Santri…”

“What?”

“Chhod na yaar, Kuch aur baat kartein hain”