The night he scored a 5672 on Bubble spinner

17^th Dec’10, Gorakhpur

The shadow of the glass of milk skirted to the right, falling just short of his mobile placed at an arm’s distance from him at the bedside table while he was engrossed in the game on his laptop. It has been a rough day for him, PDIs of trucks and audit of a complete full range workshop. What best way to relax could there be but to revel on the deep soft mattress of the hotel room, listening to your favourite songs and playing ‘bubble spinner’.

Dil kyun ye mera....shor kare.... moving his head to the merry rhythm of the songs he kept playing the game mindlessly.... with a mild unimportant goal of getting a higher score on each try and nothing else... no worries about tomorrow’s journey back to Lucknow that started at 4:45 next morning....no worries about his result in CAT... no worries of when he would leave this job and move on to fulfil his dreams.... no worries about the boy who was coming to see his girlfriend today... nothing. If anything, it was just his riant demeanour that he has been carrying since he fell in love last year.  

Bahara..bahara..hua dil pehli baar ye...  the song changed while he kept playing. “Why can I not score beyond a 562 on this god-damn game... and why do I like this song so much.....its girlish. May be this song expresses how I feel inside and the tune is so catchy....”, he thought to himself.

The phone rang to the tune of ‘pehla nasha’ ....ringtone assigned to his love. The mobile screen flashed her smiling face that reflected back on his face as well immediately as he saw it. “Hello dearest...”, still managing to continue playing the game, he said in a tone full of care and a hint of apology as he just realised that he did not call her today since morning.

“Sourabh, where are you? Can you please come to my home....now”, she burst out crying....managing to speak and breathe as if she was being smothered by something that worried her immensely. The score card on his laptop reached 301....This sudden comeuped situation was still being analysed by his mind when he tried to calm her down and said, “What happened? I am still in Gorakhpur and will reach lucknow tomorrow afternoon.....just tell me what happened”. 442...“Oh why aren’t you here..”, her question was not directed to him....it was but for the God.. “...I am getting engaged to the boy who came to see me today... the ceremony begins in half an hour”, and there was helplessness shouting out loud in her cries. This news hit him hard.....hard enough to render him nonplussed.... no more suggestions were available to him from his mind anymore.... he don’t know what to reply or whether he ought to reply anything or not....532....as the sense came back to him after some seconds he said “Well tell your parents about me.....I will meet them tomorrow” ....571....a voice in the back of his mind kept telling him ‘you are supposed to be crying’ but he could not. “I tried telling them.... things are happening very fast here...within hours many of my relatives have been invited here for this... I am unable to stop it...”...she kept crying... “I have to go now,.... I will call you back”, she said and hanged up the phone in a hurry. Still unable to take up the shock.... unable to think.... unable to know what he should do....he kept playing...882. ‘You are supposed to cry’...whispered the voice in his head again. “I don’t know what to do....ofcourse I am supposed to cry,... then why am I so normal...” the true gravity of the situation has yet not been absorbed by him..... It was like a hard physical blow that is immediately followed by silence and then the pain comes after a few moments. The pain is still to come....1104.... His mind was still in quandary when he suddenly realized that the room was dark with only a dim light available from the side lamp which, much to the misery, seemed sad. 1504....He was still blank about the situation.... “ What must I do?...let’s try to think about what has happened from a layman’s viewpoint. She is getting engaged to someone else.... that means she will get married to him.... so what? ..... Wait... It also means that I will not get to see her anymore....” this step by step thinking helped and the horrific knowledge slowly dawned upon him...2512... “this can’t be happening... how will I live without her....” his eyes went wet with a plum rising up in his throat.....3352... ‘Cry’ the voice in his head slyly pushed the thought again in front of him. And then he started crying....still playing the game....4560....he cried harder as his mind kept telling him what all will he be missing, his heart worrying for her.... how will she live without me....who will take care of her... how will I ensure that she is fine... I want to talk to her everyday... he cried even harder....the laptop screen went hazy through his eyes....he kept playing...unsure of when to stop....5508... He kept crying and thought that nothing he can do will change it.... its all hopeless, he felt a sinking feeling.....sinking into a hole that is infinitely deep... no amount of crying could get him out of there.... 5550... the walls of the room seemed to crash upon him...it was over.... 5672...Game is over!

As he sobbed silently in his room...the song played again... “bahara..bahara..hua dil”, ....what a stupid song that is.... I hate the lyrics... he turned off the laptop and cried off to sleep.